


He's Literally A Bearded Dragon, Though?

by Syntax



Series: 50k Challenge Oneshots [2]
Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, This Is STUPID
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:47:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22398037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Syntax/pseuds/Syntax
Summary: The Dragonborn meets with Paarthurnax for the first time.
Series: 50k Challenge Oneshots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1627744
Comments: 6
Kudos: 49





	He's Literally A Bearded Dragon, Though?

_"Lok Vah Koor!"_

The harsh winds around the mountain parted instantly, the power of their voice twisting even the will of the heavens to fit their vision. The Dragonborn marched onward up the Throat of the World.

Wind bit harshly at scraps of unarmored skin, but they pressed on regardless. They had a mission to attend to. With the final battle against Alduin rapidly approaching, they had a need to learn the secret which could bring the World Eater to his knees. They needed to learn the shout called _Dragonrend._

An evil thing, apparently. A desperate thing. A shout made only for horror and war. They didn't particularly care what it was made for: these were evil, desperate, warlike times. Such a thing as Dragonrend would fit right in. According to Arengir, learning the shout would require them to speak with Paarthurnax, leader of the Greybeards, and speaking with him would require travelling up to the very peak of the mountain.

So up they went, sending periodic reminders through the sky that the gales would not blow and the ice would not sting.

_"Lok Vah Koor!"_

Their path was not difficult to climb. It was hell worn, if not well-maintained, and their feet found easy purchase among the snow and the stone. Perhaps the Greybeards once met frequently with Paarthurnax before he took to reclusiveness. Perhaps they met with him still. It did not matter in the end; what the Greybeards did on their own time held little interest to the Dragonborn.

They reached the summit with one last whooping shout, splitting the roaring wind in half and leaving only silence in its wake as they set foot on snow unfamiliar to the concept of civilized life.

Paarthurnax was nowhere to be found.

The Dragonborn stepped forward. No robed figures. No monk's cells. Nothing to indicate that there was any life at all on the Throat of the World beyond themself and the ice wraiths they had killed on the way up.

...By everything that was holy, had Paarthurnax died in the intervening time since the Greybeards had last spoken with him? How were they to proceed then?

They took another step forward.

A great booming voice called out to them.

" _Drem Yol Lok._ Greetings, _wunduniik._ "

Their hand reached for their weapon immediately at the sound. Sliding into a combat stance, they scanned the area for wherever the voice had come from. Still nothing.

"So expecting of danger you are. But perhaps you are not wrong. Come closer. Speak. I will listen."

"Where are you?" They said, taking cautious steps towards the word wall and keeping their eyes peeled on the sky in case of an aerial attack. "I can hear you, but I cannot see you."

"Ah, perhaps you are looking in the wrong place," the voice continued. "Lower your eyes from the heavens. I am not so far above you."

Their vision lowered, scanning the rocks and stones for a being out of place, or perhaps a being invisible. Tamriel was a strange place, and strange magic often struck its people at inopportune times. They peered at the stones in front of them, the snow beneath them, the runes of the weathered word wall—

And that's when they noticed a small crested gecko clinging effortlessly to the ancient stone.

The gecko calmly licked at one of its eyes.

"I am Paarthurnax." The crested gecko said. "Who are you? What brings you to my _strunmah_ —my mountain?"

The Dragonborn could only stare in bewildered silence.

_Was this a joke...?_

**Author's Note:**

> so i was trying to get my words in for the day but i was having writer's block, so i tried thinking about what i could write
> 
> and then i remembered a dumb post i made saying what if paarthurnax was a crested gecko


End file.
